Description
Red card, warm-up lap or ready for the final? The decision is yours!
Please read my ad carefully before contacting me. Fair play starts with reading!
In my league, feeling, chemistry and fair play count. Fancy a special one-two? Then dare the first pass!
YOUR COACH
German | Over 40 | Independent
160 cm | 46 kg | Short dark hair
100 % organic quality – crisp and natural
Playing style: Offensive and playful, sometimes demanding and self-confident – and sometimes deliberately slow. The only rush is from the referee.
Whether junior player or seasoned pro: what matters is mutual chemistry, not age. Fair play knows no league.
ARENA IN ZURICH
You can expect a private, well-kept and discreet setting to unwind. No cold locker-room atmosphere and no unnecessary performance pressure, just a cosy environment for a personal encounter.
Public transport and parking are right outside the door – no away game getting here!
TEAM PLAY INSTEAD OF STANDARD PROGRAM
My heart beats for a successful one-two with feeling: warmth, sensuality, chemistry and mutual appreciation are part of it for me. Natural, relaxed – and when you get this close, a deliberate handball is expressly welcome.
No rigid tactics, but room for headers and gut feeling. Because the most beautiful encounter happens when the chemistry is right and we score a direct hit together – instead of just hitting the crossbar!
SPECIAL MOVES AND EXTRAS
Whether we keep the ball on the ground or go straight for the goal – feel free to mention your tactical wishes or fetishes! Mind-reading unfortunately isn’t on my coaching certificate.
Role play, however, is not on my game plan – I prefer to stay authentic!
Sensual moves: bondage games and tactical sensory deprivation
Fetish league: ball skills with foot, nylon and boot eroticism
Control game: strict offside trap with orgasm control and facesitting
Fine technique: sensitive play with nipples and testicles
Special discipline: strap-on – a different kind of wing attack
Locker-room program: shared showering and intimate shaving
Special technique: targeted anal massage with fingertip sensitivity
GAME CONDITIONS (CHF)
Payment is made before kick-off in cash.
Anyone who wants to haggle is welcome to look for another club on the transfer market.
30 Min. – Warm-up lap: 200.–
45 Min. – Half-time match: 250.–
60 Min. – Playing time incl. extra minutes: 300.–
90 Min. – Champions League level: 400.–
120 Min. – Final match: 500.–
3 hrs. – Intensive training: 750.–
5 hrs. – Dinner and home game deluxe: 1’000.–
Overnight (12 hrs.) – Elite final night: 1’800.–
AWAY GAMES (HOME AND HOTEL VISITS)
In Zurich city: from 3 hrs. (CHF 900.–)
Outside Zurich (up to 50 km): from 3 hrs. (CHF 1’000.–)
up to 100 km (CHF 1’200.–)
KICK-OFF TIMES
Monday–Thursday: 10:00–20:00
Friday: 10:00–14:00
Friday from 15:00, weekends and public holidays: by arrangement, from 3 hours.
Please book your appointment in good time – because a good game needs solid preparation!
No live ticker every minute: after 8 pm and at weekends my phone runs in power-saving mode. Anyone who wants to play in my starting eleven knows that patience is also part of a good game.
YOUR FIRST PASS DECIDES
A first message is like a penalty without a goalkeeper: make something of it! Messages like “Hi, I saw your ad” without personal words? Straight red card for that own goal!
Anyone who wants to play in my league should show commitment with the first pass – fair play and a bit of personality are part of it after all!
Yellow card: unfair last-minute fouls require a deposit next time.
Red card: no-shows, price hagglers, blatant dives or photo collectors? Straight onto the transfer list – free of transfer fee, of course.
READY FOR KICK-OFF?
You have the free kick – now it’s up to you to play the first pass!
I look forward to your message and an exciting game!
Jolie Löw – your coach online:
https://qao.ch/r/11941-1
Autograph requests, expense allowances and voluntary donations for the club fund? Gladly via TWINT – the kit manager wants to get paid too!<